You’re scrolling through your feed and you see someone who you thought was your friend. This person has shared The Article.
The Article usually features an unflattering photo of a plus size model. It’s a screenshot from a vlog or an interview and she’s in the middle of a sentence. Her mouth is agape and her double chin is in full view.
You see yourself in her.
The Article has a bad, clickbait-y headline, something like, Fat “Feminist” Angry for Being “Objectified”. Half of the words are in quotations and the other half are mocking. A fat woman isn’t a whole woman. A fat woman doesn’t get to consent to being a sex object. It’s hilarious that a fat woman would be seen as a sex object. There are so many layers of misogyny and fatphobia just piling on top of each other.
You see yourself in her. You see your friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances in the headline.
You click on the article. Sometimes you’re hoping for a good dose of righteous anger, sometimes you’re hoping that the article is fake. You hope that you’ll open it up and it will say, “That’s what I would say if I hated fat women! Really, I admire this plus size model and wish her well!” It never says that kind of thing.
It says that fat women are undesirable and unsexy, that they should be grateful if a man were to assault them. They should be grateful to be objectified.
You see yourself in her.
Recently, I came across The Article (or one of many Articles, really, they exist together and apart, they are both one and many) on Facebook.
The internet is an enemy to fat women. We are mocked at every turn outside of the tiny safe spaces we create for ourselves.
This article I described is an incredibly ignorant take.
When I read it, the misogyny was palpable and I felt like I was choking on it.
The article describes a plus size activist posing in a bikini, and then feeling rightfully upset when the pictures are taken as consent to be objectified.
So, there is a difference between consensually owning one’s sexuality and being objectified. A woman in a bikini isn’t inviting harassment. That seems to be at least a little more obvious when a skinny girl wears a bikini to a beach. But fat women aren’t respected even that little bit.
As a plus size woman, I can tell you that I have absolutely gotten comments like the ones the woman describes just for posting fully clothed selfies.
I constantly get unsolicited messages from men that want me to know that I'm still desirable to them "even though" I'm fat.
I’ve also been targeted by fat fetish accounts, even once receiving an anonymous message asking “are your feet soft?”
All for posing fully clothed, usually not even showing below my shoulders.
These comments aren’t compliments and they aren’t in any way vindicating or better than outright harassment. They’re demeaning, and saying that we should be “grateful” is an absolute joke. The objectifying comments are worse than fat jokes because the underlying meaning is, “you’re fat and therefore you are ugly and insecure and you should be thankful that I’m willing to objectify you sexually”.
The problem should not be placed solely in my fat little hands for fixing. The problem is systemic, and it’s going to take a whole lot of collaboration to fix it.
So, where do we start?
We start by not sharing the article. Friends, You start by not using my body as click bait. Start by seeing my body as a body and not a joke, a political statement, an object.
Let’s start there and see where we can go.
Image: The body in question, which is very cute, thanks.
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